Not Gonna Have It Your Way

Not Gonna Have It Your Way

Not Gonna Have It Your Way
  Have it your way- at Burger King used to be the slogan.  However, it seems that the King has gone astray in an attempt to keep up with the one dollar burger war. Mickey D’s menu include a variety of one dollar specials and I must say they are really good; hot corn chips and all.  However, there is something about the King that Mickey D’s can’t touch. Perhaps it’s the charbroiled meat?  Not sure, but what I do know is the taste of a King, as far as I am concerned, is superior to the taste of Mickey D’s! So on this day, as I was driving south on La Cienega,  I saw the King, posted on southwest corner at Centinela.  I stopped for a bite to eat thinking it would be a good thing sinking my teeth into a juicy charbroiled Whopper.   We parked the car and I got out of the passenger side door and hurried into the Kingdom.  Just before I entered, I noticed a delicious looking advertisement that was, “too good to be true.”   It was a one dollar special; Rodeo Sandwiches, crispy chicken or beef. As you can see each of items in the ad showed the meat hanging largely off the bun making it difficult to decide which one to order so I ordered two: one crispy chicken and one charbroiled meat; the kind with those grill marks even though they don’t have a grill.  With my order I also requested a one dollar fry and a large root beer.   I watched in anticipation for them to deliver my meal, to kill some time I filled my large soda and drank some before topping it off again; for the road.  And then they called my number…I moved quickly to the counter and retrieved my bag, got me some ketchup and napkins and I was out the door. I got into the car, put my drink in the holder, and clipped my seatbelt before I looked into the bag.  I pulled one of the burgers out of the bag opened its wrapper looked inside and to my surprise it was…NOTHING like the photo in the ad. There was a bun, the charbroiled meat, and at first I did not see the fried onion rings but they were there.  My burger did not look like the burger in the ad.  The one I received looked like the little brother to the one in the advertisement and I was upset. I got out of the car and took a photo of the advertisement for comparison of what I got to what the King was selling…Just as I was about to go back into the store to complain I received a call from my granddaughters school which demanded my presence, so I tabled the burger and went to resolve the issue. Upon arrival at her school, I quickly realized that the issue was trivial and wondered why they had bothered calling me.  Nevertheless, I spoke with the teacher, who seemed to be overwhelmed, while my mini burgers sat in the car getting cold.   Situation resolved, until the next time.  I briefly spoke with to my granddaughter and at this time she expressed to me that she wanted a snack.  What Grandfather could resist the wants of their beautiful granddaughter, so I walked her to where the car was parked and I gave her the crispy chicken, the fry, and after taking a long swig, the large root beer soda.  I gave her a hug and then I continued on my way to my daughter’s, her mother,  apartment in Inglewood. Once inside the apartment my ire continued.  I opened the wrapper and looked at the burger and again thought about my options; to sue or not to sue, but what would be my cause of action; fraud, false advertising, what amount would I demand in the complaint?  I guess I could say that my actual loss amounted to total of two dollars, so what amount would I attach for punitive damages?  And who should I sue, the King or the franchise owner?  Surely, the King had no knowledge of the fact that the burgers did not look like those in the ad as I am sure that would be his testimony.   And in what court would I prosecute the complaint; State or Federal.  Maybe Judge Judy… After pondering a moment about pleadings, jurisdiction, causes of action(s), damages, depositions, filing fees, service fees, status conference hearings and Judge Judy’s antics I grabbed a knife and sliced the burger into two pieces, gave one to my other half and quickly ate my portion.  As I write, I can attest to the following under the penalty of perjury, “I do not remember  the onion rings, but the charbroiled taste was oh so familiar.” After consuming the evidence I did realize one thing- the King should not be in the one dollar burger business…  And yes I did take a photo of the burger to be used as evidence, just in case… Ba dump da da daaa.  I’m lovin it.   What do you think?…Respond below.

Essex

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